The Bad News Is: You'll Live

[tastes_of_honey]

Now that I'm healed and in less danger of a near death, Brad's gone back to being gruff and snappish but worse because now he's embarrassed he became so emotional and soft over me. I get to feel him working himself up into a righteous rage over how he "wasted" things on me when I wouldn't actually be dying after all and would remember he'd done it. It also turns out that the whole near death thing put a gloss over how unlikeable I really am.

I guessed this might happen--I've known him for over 20 years--but some moronic part of me hoped that Brad would see how good things were. I... liked him being affectionate with me. Who doesn't want to be liked by at least someone? Even stuff I would have sneered at once, like watching cheesy sci-fi movies with him on the couch like we were a couple or something, I'd really come to like. I thought maybe he'd decide he'd like it like I did and decide to stay with it even when my health was good.

Now just being around him hurts. I hear his anger and disdain clearly. So I haven't been home much lately. I've been clubbing or hanging with Nagi when he's not working or visiting Fluffy.

I just came home and he was pissed that I'd been out so much lately. I told him I couldn't be around him when I could feel him being so angry at me for living after all. He said that was ridiculous, since he paid 50% of the healer's fee, didn't he? And he said it like that meant he owned me. It turned ugly fast. Physical violence kind of ugly. We scored some hits on each other. I left before we got to killing each other.

I don't know if he'll get his head on straight soon. It has to be soon, because I can't deal with this kind of shit at home and in my working partnership.

I'd seen the possibility. I just hadn't thought it would be this bad or hurt this much. Emotions make fools of us all.

I didn't even get much time to just be purely happy about being cured....