"I don't wanna be your friend...."

[tastes_of_honey]

So I heard Kid Rock's "So Hot," sometimes subtitled "The Stripper's Anthem," and it's, uhm, genius. Ja. I'm particularly intrigued by the line "I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again." I'm sure he means that he's going to have dirty, kinky sex, but when I hear that line I can only think that it's Kid Rock and he's gonna fuck her badly and not worry about it.

Agree? Disagree?

Comments

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Things are great on the casual sex front. I'm attractive, they're attractive, and they never have to get to know me aside from how I'm the most intuitive lay they've ever had.

Getting serious and longterm means letting people know and getting the recoil when they find out what I can do. I can be "polite" with friends and block myself off from reading them, but for a loved one, someone I want to spend a lot of time, the rest of my life, with? I can't. It's like... imagine a lover saying that you have to wear earplugs around and could never touch him or her ever because what you are is really scary and skeevy. That's how it is.

I'm also manic and somewhat nuts. Doesn't help.

There aren't a lot of people like me in my world, and we tend to hide so it's not like we have a dating service. When my team destroyed Eszett, all the talents who'd been abused by them ran like hell.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

Your shoes are a pair I wouldn't want to walk in, man.

And before the Nexus, I honestly don't think there was a soul I would've said that about.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Dick. ::small smile:: I strive to be impressive in all things.

Things would be easier if my team weren't formed of emotional retards, Nagi hadn't gone corporate, and Aya didn't have his bizarre relationship with Ken.

Though Nagi in the Nexus recently admitted he loved me to me and himself for the first time. That was sweet. Not that he's going to settle down in the near future.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

...you can love someone without being able to be with them, he said, knowingly.

*a sigh*

It's hard to do- be gentle on him?

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

I know. I know. I even love my teammates. They're just too mentally immature to be with.

And Nagi? No worries. I'm his mom figure and one of his favorite sex partners. I let him know I'm thrilled he said "I love you" back to me. Ya know, he's young, so he should be out there experimenting. He's also an antisocial hacker brat and proud misanthrope, so prone to telling people his unvarnished views that it took him a while to realize he'd been LOL'd into telling the truth.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

Oh man he needs REAL kid gloves, then.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Heh. I love him, though. The Nexus has been good for him, socialization and affection-wise. My reality's version of him is so much more withdrawn just from none of my team being able to spare him much attention at that stage in his life. We were too busy simultaneously doing our jobs and covering our asses so we could make our break for freedom. The Nexus gave me a chance to be there for some version of Nagi at least.

I'm also, ahem, somewhat more nurturing and calmer at my current age.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

I gotta say- you're honestly more nurturing and calmer than I'd expect you to be, from how you describe yourself. I think you need to think about the difference between who you are and who you once were, Schu.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

A little? But who I am isn't just about that. I'm a bit of a chameleon. How I am depends partly on who I'm with.

::It's not something he has full control over. Sometimes he's not even aware of the difference.::

Hell, I'm in a confessional mood. Wonder how that happened?

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

So you're... nice because you're talking to me? In part, anyways?
That's a little-- I'm not used to people being nice to me, really. I've always had to just soldier on, like.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

In part. You should hear how I sound talking to Jonathan Crane. Like, Jonathan affects my word choice and often brings out my inner shrink. Or watch how whimsical I get around Yuuko.

The reason why I'm around you absorbing some of your niceness, though, is that I like you. I really do. I don't absorb fondness for people. You're a cool person, and you shouldn't have to just soldier on. So, yeah, that's where me becoming different over time comes in. You can imagine what I used to absorb from the school I was trained in.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

*It's simply amazing how much mention of Dr. Crane closes up Dick's expression.*

I wasn't aware you and Crane knew each other. It's... nice to be likeable, though.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Yes, and puppies and kittens are cute.

I talk to a lot of different people, though in his case it was 98.6% written correspondence so I was talking blindfolded and with earplugs in. I haven't heard from him since that thing with Verbal. The philosophy and literature discussions were interesting, but I don't think we're a good match for friendship.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

Dr. Crane has... he just doesn't grasp it. Unlike a lot of people, though, he doesn't quite grasp that he doesn't grasp it.

Also, he threatened Bruce. So he's currently not very high on my favorite people list.

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Understandable.

The guy's mind is like a merry-go-round set to a scary soundtrack, repetitive circling. The time I met him I had to keep stopping him from mentally flying off the handle.

I met him when I responded to his personals ad like a penpal. He was looking for romance with a woman--which heh, is not me--but he sounded like a guy trying to transform himself. Plus, I was seriously burnt out on my own circle of Nexus friends at the time because most of them were being asses. Plus plus, my psycho ex-boyfriend gave one of the Nexus Scarecrows the specs on how my telepathy worked and that Scarecrow took off to do who knows what, so I was trying to get a feel for how Scarecrows think.

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

...It's good that he tried to reach out for a relationship- it says to me that he understands he needs that in his life- and that it's not a one-off deal.

He's not right, man. The tricky part with him is that he doesn't grasp that he's repeating the same behavior that didn't work, over and over. It's someone else's fault if doing the same thing doesn't work, the second time, for the same reasons it didn't work the first time.
After kidnapping me and feargassing me so thoroughly that he got me remembering something... I'd chosen to forget?
If he threatens Bruce again, I'm going to forget I'm a hero. And after that, he's never going to forget that I can forget.

[locked]

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

I'd say you're accurate, though I appreciate his point that criminals attempting to reform could really use a support network and positive reinforcement to make the transition from figure of illicit power to law-abiding civilian. He needs to take charge of himself more. We're at dinner and he's thinking, "I want people to fear me!" and I'm asking him if he wouldn't actually prefer dessert instead. I felt a bit like I was babysitting a psychotic kid, which I admit is something I've had past experience in. It was disappointing, especially since he's fine with telepathy. He really liked it when I let him feel what it's like to fly like a bird.

[oh yes, definitely locked]

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

He definitely has a very good point there- I'm pretty sure I've tried to let him know I agree with that point. It's hard to move into a new role in life when you're quite used to another one.

...you can let someone feel what it feels like to fly like a bird? That would be pretty awesome.
*memories of being a child, of letting go of mother's hands, doing a double backflip and then being caught by father's hands, cross his mind*

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Especially when your old one made you feel powerful and special and your new one helpless and chained by rules.

He was getting really sulky, so I started feeding him silly images of gingerbread men and candy knights that ended up turning to rock candy dragons and birds. Not many people do that well that fast on meeting my images with other images, and it was fun to play. Being a bird really seemed to make him happy and chill so I kept him in it for a while.

It is awesome. ::smiles at the memories:: I hitched mental rides on birds sometimes when I was stressed or overwhelmed by people, particularly in Tokyo, which is cram packed with human minds. It's hard to remember to come back sometimes though.

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

I bet that it would be hard to remember to come back...

He has an affection for birds. I. When. He.. when I was chained in his basement he. He made me remember--

*JERK of change in persona, quite abrupt, quite sudden; the internal monologue is entirely a different voice*
He made me remember what Joker did to me. And then he tried to punish me with- with turning crows loose on me.
He made me kill the birds.
It was him.
HE did it.

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

...oi. He is a very bad man. ::Though this explains some things.::

Is there something I could do for you?

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

That depends.
What do you want out of it?

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

I want things to get to a point where when I talk to your body the whole conversation is spent talking to the same person.

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

You are already. ...aren't you? It's- some of me gets to be carefree and irresponsible and belong. Some of me is strong.

Both parts don't really- fit. In the same situation.

Re: [oh yes, definitely locked]

[tastes-of-honey.livejournal.com]

Not really. Sudden razor-sharp shifts in mood and voice are not usual. It's kind of déclassé too. I'm a gestalt, and I know people get suspicious over stuff like that. You sure as hell won't blend in doing it.

Why not?